What i have learned about myself, from learning about shame, is that. I’ve been in shame and never even realized it was shame. I’ve blamed my shame on other people and things for my shame. As i didn’t want to admit it to myself. i’ve realized that when i’m in shame, i keep myself low, i distant myself from the people who mean most to me, and keep to the people who i mean nothing too. I now know, that when i’m in shame, i cut everyone out, and even my well being.

Now that i understand my shame, and now that i have realized what my own type of shame is. I know that i can always apologize and fix my wrongs, but i can never take that shame away. It might feel good owning up to my shame and getting rid of the guilt, but my shame will never go away. To avoid shame, i cannot be in the wrong, but i can’t life a life without ever not being in the wrong at some point. I can’t change anything about my feeling of shame, but i can prevent my shame. For me to stop feelings of shame and to change my ways, i need to not be so selfish, sometimes i do need to put the thought of others before me. Sometimes i do need to ask myself “What would they think?”. The difference i am going to make with myself, is too not just keep thinking about what i want, and what i think is right, and what i want to do with myself. I need to respect and actually take an offence to others opinions, and really realize the big picture of what they are telling me. I need to care about what others opinions would be.

-Alexxa Cole

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